First Dance---Last Dance

Walking out the door when he grabbed my hand, held my bag and said. "No this dance. please"

His friend interfered, the first , second and third time. But the arms reached together.

It was my first dance and the last one.

I never knew that leaving Cincinnati is going to give me so much of unexpected moments.

It is the moment when reality struck you..when you are at that moment..it is your last chance to speak up ..it is at that moment that your subconscious is set free and rise above the restraints of your consciousness..you are free now. you speak yourself. Nothing to hold you back. Say it now or it is gone for ever.

Probably yesterday's moment , so fast it happened, so short but it was so sharp and so intense.

To have my friend that I knew from 2 years , stand in front of me expressing his feelings to me was striking.." I never thought it would occur to me again, but it did". He felt so weak and I never liked to see a man especially a friend weak. To remind me of the first conversation we had two years ago when we went to see a play together was a terrific story ...to gather everything at that moment from religion, to communism, to immigration , to hardships in life, to struggle to succeed... left me speechless. He kissed my hand, I hugged him, it was hard on me seeing a friend of mine in such a fragile situation..take it easy and do not stress out..calm down. Thats fine. This all what I could say.

On my way back home, I start to recall every thing that happened in the last two years, how many times I missed his calls and called back late..how many times I answered his calls and his checking on me so calmly and simply ...he would call when he had an exam, when he had to travel ..and I was so oblivious of so many things. Even yesterday when I was about to leave, he blocked my way and " no not you , not now. you ll be fine I will give you a ride." and yet it did not click..yes, I confess I am slow sometimes. He called so late that night to make sure I will come to his party. So many excuses I gave: " can't go out in the evenings, final exams, work, ..." He refused all. He insisted. " It is the last time I can see you. I am traveling next week and by the time I come back, you will be gone to Michigan."

Very slow sometimes.

Cincinnati, so much I am leaving behind. Walking around the campus today, looking at the stones, the trees, the classrooms, the stairs that I love so much...remembering all the people that I got to know and have good times with ...breaks my heart and can't hold my tears back.

A lady asked me yesterday, "where is home to you" : I looked at her and said : "Cincinnati and Lebanon. "